After much pressure and gentle email reminders from a friend of mine I have decided to re-join the blog posting world. I re-activated my profile on here which I believe is the first step. The next one is to open myself up enough to be vulnerable and honest about what I have been feeling on the inside lately. To say this will be easy is an understatement.
I had spent the better half of my life being somewhat private--social, but private. Only let people see a little bit into my soul and then shut the window when they get too close. Over the past four years I have opened the window more often and for longer periods of time. The problem is, now I’m again feeling the pain of letting people in. It’s messy and hurtful and sometimes people disappoint.
Part of me starting this tonight is in some way to show that I’m not done opening the window. But as I sit here and write I realize that it doesn’t make any of the pain go away and, unfortunately, I don’t expect it to. Sometimes there are small events, snubs or lack of responses that spiral me back to wanting to slam the window shut and walk away completely.
For now this is my small attempt at opening the window and letting a few people in…I just hope I don’t regret it.
