"We decided to go with another candidate"..."it's not you, it's me"... silence... an email or phone call un-returned. No matter what way you slice it, rejection hurts. It stings, leaving a mark and chipping away at your soul.
From the dawn of time people have been dealing with rejection and we have all faced it multiple times. We didn't get picked for the team at recess, the popular crowd doesn't include us or the school we wanted said our grades weren't good enough.
So, after 29 years of facing rejection, why does it still sting? Why do tears still well up after I face another round? Is it the compilation of it all at once,--real or perceived--relational versus situational or is there more to it?
I don't know. I can't fully explain. Certain types hurt me more than others. They feed into my own insecurities and past aches. Others seem to zap me from nowhere and leave me grabbing for the Kleenex STAT.
The past few weeks have been a flurry of rejection and turmoil on many fronts. Part of it real and some of it my own over-reactions and worries. Either way, I think the more beaten down we are the more susceptible we are to feel more pain. So the cycle continues over and over again until something stops it. I'm ready for that.
2 comments:
you're ready for it to stop you mean? I think being human rejection will always sting, always bring up those issues of worth and fear and leave us feeling vulnerable and doubting ourselves. I don't know that that will ever go away.
I think maybe the difference is what you do with it. Do you take those feelings and hurts to God and ask him to speak his truth to you and heal you or do you choose to wallow in it and let the world tell you who you are and what your worth is?
I also do think though (at least in my experience) that the sting gets much less worse the more emotionally healthy we become (the more we deal with our baggage, find freedom, etc). and you are doing all this so you are learning and ready...it seems at least
Yes, I'm ready for it to stop...I feel like the past four years have been filled with a lot of growth, but also a huge amount of pain. I'm ready for the pain to stop, but (as we have talked at length) life is joy/pain and you can't have the joy without the pain. I'm just wanting a little less pain and a lot more joy for a while :)
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