Deafeated and Depleted

Do you ever feel like God totally showed up when you needed him to? That is how I feel right now, like this little ray of sunshine can be enough to keep me going for a little while longer.

It shouldn’t surprise me when it happens, because time and time again he has done it. Yet, each instance causes me to just stop and marvel in his grace, mercy and love for me.

I wasn’t feeling exceptionally loved waking up today and was feeling defeated and depleted on many playing fields. Worry about what other people think and putting my identity in the hands of others had caused tears and frustration. A criticism from someone I didn’t even know seemed to be the icing on the cake.

So, I started to do what I should have done way earlier and I just asked God to remind me of my identity. To help that insecure little girl inside my head fully understand how wide, how long, how high and how deep is the Father’s love for me. That I would find my value in the fact that I am his treasured daughter. That these truths would just take root in my soul and I would stop struggling with this concept.

And then He showed up.

And I’m still sitting here in awe. It was a simple thing really, but in one night he tackled three fears. It’s like He was saying, “I want you to get this, I know you’re hurting and I so want you to grasp this. I can’t stop until you really get it. Because until you do, you won’t fully live the life I have for you. But see here, in the midst of this pain, I’m reminding you that I love you.”

I shouldn’t be surprised that He showed up. But I am. I walked in faith, out of my comfort zone, to do what He wanted. There have been attacks, but tonight was reiteration that this is where He wants me. When I put my trust in me or my ability, I will fail and I will fall. It’s not to say that it will be easy or that I won’t struggle, but I’m marinating on how wide and long and high and deep is His love for me. I AM his treasured daughter!