Forgiveness or Doormat?

What is it about the female sex that feels the need to take the hungry ,poor and huddle masses and give them a free pass. I’m not talking about legitimate people in need. No, I’m referring the propensity to practically have the word “Welcome” stamped across our foreheads as we let another boyfriend/lover/friend/ex/’whatever his title’ man walk all over us.

It’s not as if we all lay awake as little girls dreaming of the day someone we care about will show that they have us as an option while we place them as a priority. I didn’t wander into the friendship expecting that it would be one-sided. My heart didn’t purposefully fall for someone who months later would talk about the missing “spark.” But somehow it all has transpired.

I don’t harbor ill-ill towards any of them, so I wouldn’t balk at the idea of returning emails ten months after a break-up. But truly isn’t that more of the doormat mentality than a heart of forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean I let you back in my life to hurt me. It means that I have given up my need (or right) to be mad at someone. I can forgive the affair, but it doesn’t mean the relationship is continued.

So, am I forgiving or getting walked on?

I consider myself a strong confident person in many respects. I’ve gone through many fires with my Savior and have come out the other end refined in some ways, but still with rough edges. I have my faults and my flaws. I wouldn’t say I let people walk over me, but I do have my kryptonite.

I don’t know why I give more leeway to the opposite sex. If my girlfriends pulled some of the stunts we would have words. So, why don’t I hold the other gender to the same standards? Why do I allow for more uncaring acts? Is it because my heart is involved and that makes it sticky; after all, don’t we all want somebody to love? A lack of self-esteem; you may not be perfect, but I’m not either.

Whatever the reason, I’m realizing that I deserve better and I don’t need to put up with it. God has a much richer plan for me that doesn’t involve one-sided connections and constant questioning in any type of relationship; no matter the gender or title.